Week 1. Again.

• Bust - 38.5 inches
• Waist - 39 inches
• Hips - 41 inches
• Thigh - 25 inches
• Upper arm - 13 inches
• Weight - 82kg / 13 stone

So there we have it. Guess who majorly failed over the summer holidays? Yep, me. 

At the moment, I weigh the most that I think I ever have. Including pregnancies. 

At the moment, I actually disgust myself. I'm not saying that so people will say 'Oh you're not that bad' etc. I'm saying that because its truth, pure and simple. As I write this, I have just finished double fried eggs on toast and now I just feel fat.

I know this was meant to be all about my new start, and I guess it is. Except its new start round 2. 

As of tomorrow (because today is my sons birthday and I'm taking him to McDonalds so saying I'll start today would be, well, ridiculous) I am going to be the picture of health. I'm going to eat properly and regularly. At the moment I survive on coffee until at least lunchtime, then eat a big meal because I say its breakfast and lunch in one.

I have excuse after excuse of why I eat what I do. And always justify it to myself with a 'Oh its just this once', or 'Its not that bad'. But the only person that I fool, and I don't really, is myself.

Like I have said, this healthier way of life is not for anyone but me. I'm not doing this to get a man or to even attract their attention (although it would be nice as a 'side-effect'!), I'm doing this solely for me. Well, maybe a little bit for the kids because they will benefit when I can run further than 50 yards without dying! But mostly for me.

I have no excuse with the kids being at school now. I can go to the gym, I can cycle, I have roller boots there ffs, I can do that too. And now I'm wanting to take photos of EVERYthing, I can incorporate that into my cycling and walking.

And when I waiver, because I will, I will remind myself of how I felt when I stood on the scales and was horrified at the number. I want to be fit. I want to be athletic. I want to be healthy.

I think I may have finally run out of excuses to myself.